What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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