Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
