I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
