I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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