Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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