i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Randomize
