Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
