I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize