Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
