get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
