i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
We are all done wearing pants today
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
