do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize