i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
