I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
