Is it normal to miss your booty call?
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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