I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
