By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
