so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
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