im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
