um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
