so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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