If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
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