Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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