I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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