Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
