I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Randomize
