Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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