The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I would fuck him just for his dog
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
