3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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