We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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