I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
She bit a glass in half.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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