a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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