Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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