Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Randomize
