so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Randomize
