She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
