it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
