we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
