You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
