we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize