But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
How's work?
Spinning.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
