why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
My dick has a subreddit
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
