this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
