Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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