i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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