just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
