Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
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