I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
