I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I intend to get homeless drunk
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
