nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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