yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
