Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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