Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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