the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize