sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
