Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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