This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
So apparently I’m into choking now
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