You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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