Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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