I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
