How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
You may now shotgun with the bride
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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