Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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