shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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