You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
