Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
