im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
