No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
