Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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