Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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