i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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