you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
