They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Someone shattered a urinal.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
